I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
