Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
