i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
