my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
