GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
