She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
