yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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