His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
