week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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