why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
