handjob tips. give me some.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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