Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
