Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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