he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
