My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
