I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
