Already got asked if we're dating
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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