So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
