roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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