Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
