I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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