I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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