just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
