apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
