take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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