How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
