i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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