i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
