Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
