Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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