when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
