She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
