he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
