So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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