My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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