dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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