hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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