I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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