32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
