My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
