forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
that may or may not have been my penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
