hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
