Already got asked if we're dating
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
