Are we in a gay sports bar?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
