Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
