Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
