I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
