you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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