it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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