i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
