If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
