Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
